Fat men at work

I’m in DC for work and I decided rather than rent a car I’d just take the bus and metro everywhere. Even though I’m college-educated, I apparently and not smart enough to read a bus schedule or map. I hopped on the bus yesterday (against my better instincts, because I didn’t even really know which bus to get on ) thinking it would drop me off right at the metro station. Uh, not so much. After winding around some crazy roads and being stuck in horrendous traffic, this girl had to get the eff off the bus. Forty-five minutes completely out of my way when my lazy ass could have walked to 5 blocks to the metro. Auugh. Worst mistake ever. Luckily I found a metro station (thank you jeezus!) so I hopped on and had to ride all the way from Silver Springs back to Dupont Circle (which equates to like one million stops too many). Three stops before mine, the largest man on the planet squeezes into the already extremely packed car and sits next to me, which is to say he was all up on me! I was seriously scared he was going to sit on my legs and snap them in half. Maybe this is the gods’ retribution on my for all my SSFB comments?