Jerks!

A few weekends ago I had a rare night out on the town by myself. I mean, I didn't go out to a bar all alone, but I went out to meet friends without Lance in tow (he was abroad frolicking in Germany…more on that later). First stop – a bachelorette party for my friend Rebecca. I haven't been to a bachelorette party in ages, but I was prepared for this one to be tame. Bec has lots of friends, and a mixed bag of them at that. You've got your church-going stay at home Mom's, and at the other end of the spectrum, there's me (read: complete OPPOSITE of church-going or stay-at-home Mom). I say all this as a lead-in to the gift-giving portion of the party. We were supposed to bring a lovely lingerie gift for Rebecca. Before I hit the mall that day, I knew who the audience was going to be when she opened these gifts. Did that stop me from heading straight towards the rack of crotchless body socks at Frederick's? Oh no. Did it stop me from purchasing the 'must-have' blingy body jewelry to accessorize with the crotchless body sock? Oh no. Did I want to run from the room when she opened my gift and all the Baptist's silently stared (in horror I'm sure)? Oh yes.

After surviving that embarrassment, I headed downtown to meet up with my sister and her friends for her birthday bash. For the past three years, she has picked the same bar to celebrate her birthday. I've dubbed it The DB Bar (where DB = douche bag). When did guys start wearing bedazzled shirts and jeans?? It's not right, nor is it attractive. Thankfully, I wasn't there to pick up a man. I was having a great time drinking and dancing, when BOOM, out of nowhere, my ego got killed. I was asked (for the one millionth time) if I was the older sister (aaugh! NO! I'm 3 years younger!!) and was accused of dancing like I hadn't been out in awhile (what does that even mean!? I wasn't doing the running man for pete's sake!). Whatever. It is what it is. Maybe I need to pay a visit to the hair salon for a color fix. Maybe I need to start dressing more like a hooker like the other girls out. Or maybe I just need to reinstate the robot. If leg-warmers and slouchy boots can make a comeback, so can the robot!

Self Serve

I have a recommendation for all the grocery stores out there - start carding people and reject anyone over the age of 45 at the self check-out line!

I'm standing in the self check-out at the grocery store during the holiday rush watching an older man (not like 80 or anything...I mean, I have sympathy for Gramps) stare blankly at the touch screen for what seemed like an hour. After figuring out how to scan his groceries, where to place all his $1 bills, and how to bag his groceries the machine was screaming at him to take his change. He managed to look everywhere EXCEPT where the red light was blinking, directing him to his cash. I wanted to take it out of the machine and throw it at him and tell him to get a move-on already. Instead, I took my usual passive stance and rolled my eyes and sighed really really loudly.

Redirecting those that are still here….

Hi Peeps – I'm taking a short break from this blog to focus my attention on a new blog. If you feel compelled to read endless sappy stories and gruesome details (ok, not really) about the baby on the way, check out: www.babyalo.blogspot.com.

Why don’t YOU take the stairs??

There is a new sign posted by our elevator banks that says, "Why not take the stairs?". I resent this sign. Every time I see it, I come up with several reasons why I don't take the stairs:

1. I'm afraid of getting locked in the stairwell (ok, not really)
   
2. Stairs make my legs ache
   
3. I have no idea where the stairwells lead to and I'm not exactly in the mood to go exploring when it's 5:01 and I'm ready to get the heck out of dodge
   
4. Stairs make my head ache
   
5. Why take the stairs when the elevator is so convenient?
   

My question back to this sign is "Why not mind your own bizniz?"

WHY??

won't these go away!?!

There is no need....

to be at work at 6 am. Yet, this is what I've been doing and what I will be doing all week. It's ok though, it's just 5 days so I think I can handle it. I'm working at one of the stores in Plano which is actually really interesting to me. But I'm sure it's not interesting to you.
------------------
I've tried, unsuccessfully, to think of something else to write. However, since nothing is coming to me at the moment, I'm just gonna give up and go take a nap (or work for the next 9 hours).

Maui weddings with David Robinson

Our trip to Maui is sadly coming to an end. We've had a great time doing a lot of nothing, though somehow this has worn me out. It's been great having a semi-local to show us around....secret beaches, half price drinks, comp'd snorkeling trips, etc. Highlights of the trip include: beach hopping from resort to resort, driving out to Hana, hiking to a super secluded beach (and falling on lava rock that cut me up - doh!), meeting new people at bar-b-q's thrown in our honor....the list could go on. The best part was seeing an old friend and catching up.

Today Lance and I hung alone on Wailea beach in front of the Four Seasons resort. We spent the day reading, swimming, drinking, and occasionally napping. We decided to stay out until sunset, and as we were relaxing taking it all in, a wedding party came through. And who was part of that party? David Robinson! We both pretended not to see him, although I was gawking behind my sunglasses. He was literally 5 feet away from me, yet I turned my head away and directed my gaze towards the sunset. Lucky for Lance my camera was out of batteries, otherwise I might have snapped a photo. So there, a vacation trip complete with celebrity appearances. Who could ask for more??